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LetusPonder Columns

10/18/05 The Ten Commandments - What They SHOULD Be

12/27 Do You REALLY Want World Peace?

10/15 Support Ribbon Overload Awareness

7/18 The Ultimate Guide to Kissing - Part 2: The First Kiss
(Pure romance - the best lesson you may ever receive)

7/7 Part 1: The Bad Ways to Kiss
(A humorous exploration into all the different ways people kiss badly)

4/19 Do You Truly
Get Over Your First Love?

3/1 Which Drunk are You?


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Reality TV Crap


Big Brother 5

Let's Psycho-Analyze the BB5 Men

Let's Psycho-Analyze the BB5 Women

BB5 Introduction: Hotties and More Hotties Might be a Bad Thing

BB4 Stroll Down Memory Lane

Survivor All-Stars

Episode 2: It's Good to Know a Hero

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Episode 11: Why Not Just Wound Her?

Episode 10: The Problem with Survivor

Episode 4: Annoyance Man in Charge?

Episode 2: Where's Darrah?

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Burton | Christa | Jon | Michelle
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Andrew | Darrah | Lillian | Nicole
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Big Brother 4: Mediocrity and Run-on Sentences

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My Survivor Finale Day in the City

Survivor Episode 12: Predictions Revisited -- Readers' Wisdom (and yes, I try again)

Survivor Episode 11: Curious Editing Shift and Complete Final Predictions

Episode 10 Update: The Rob Show - A Surprising Final Four?

Exclusive Interview:
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Questions and Conversation Starters

Want to be an Interesting Person? Ask Questions...


Someone came to me for advice; "There’s this person I really find fascinating. Every time I hear her talk with someone she says the most interesting things. I finally got the nerve to ask her out and I hardly said anything. I was boring – and she was, well… I just so much love her mind and how she views the world. I want to be as interesting to her as she is to me. I have a lot of thoughts inside my head, but I just don’t know… What should I talk about?"

I responded, "It seems as though the most interesting people are NOT those who talk the most, but those who do the most listening. Ask her questions about her and about how she thinks, and she will truly find you as fascinating as she is to you."

"But what questions do I ask?"


What our your current favorite bands? Style(s) of music? If you don’t already play an instrument, what instrument most appeals to you, if any? What do you hear first/most when you listen to music: Lyrics, the music, the guitar keyboards bass drums, how the vocalist’s voice sounds, the rhythm? Are there some songs or types of music that inspires you? Can you think of songs that remind you of past acquaintances? Past times of your life?

Would you enjoy being on the stage? Singing/playing in front of many people? Or maybe acting? Speaking? If you were in a popular band, would you prefer playing in front of thousands or in smaller, cozier clubs?

Would you enjoy being famous? Would you like to be recognized on the street? Would you rather be the unknown drummer or bass player who backs Madonna? Would you enjoy being a famous writer, where people know your name but not your face? Would you prefer to have a stable, normal 9 to 5 job?

Are you comfortable amongst crowds? Do large parties invigorate you or intimidate you? Can you mingle well, or do you prefer intelligent, one-on-one conversation? If you had to schmooze, could you schmooze well? Would you tire of smiling, or would you enjoy meeting all those new people? While out at a club, or any social gathering, have you ever just watched people? Is it easy or difficult for you to meet and talk to someone for the first time? When talking with someone, who does the most talking, you or s/he?

What are the first things you notice when you first meet someone? What are your favorite body parts? What are the sexiest body parts? Which areas tell you the most about a person? Are you happy with how you look? Do you walk around naked while alone? Could you walk sans clothes on a nudist beach? Could you go nude outside if you were in a totally secluded area? Have you gone skinny-dipping? Would you like to, or would you like to go again?

How much TV do you watch? What are your favorite shows? What are some of your favorite movies? Do you enjoy seeing plays? Which do you like more, plays or movies? Have you ever been to an opera? Symphony performance? Art gallery? What would you do if you had no TV? Would you talk on the phone? Read a book? Play sports or games? Socialize? Write? Do work? Could you live with no TV? Could you live with no music? No art?

Do bugs bother you? Do you step on roaches and scrunch them whenever possible? Do you hunt? Do you think it’s wrong to kill a beautiful deer? A chicken? Do you eat meat?

What animals would you like to be if you could? Do you have a pet? Could you hold a snake if you knew it was harmless? An iguana? Do you talk to your pet? Do you talk to birds? Squirrels? Have you ever hugged a tree? Do you recycle?

Do you have plants in and around where you live or work? Do you feel more comfortable in the city or in the country? Could you go camping/hiking for a week? Two weeks? Two months on the Appalachian Trail? What are some things you like about a city? Dislike? What are your initial perceptions of the following cities: New York, San Francisco, Kansas City, Chicago, Miami, Boston, Los Angeles, Phoenix, Washington DC? If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Would you like to own an old house with history and charm? A new house built stronger more gadgets more storage space? Would you like to design your own? Would you prefer moving to new area of the country or staying where you are? Where would you want to live if we could live anywhere? And then would it be the suburbs city country or an island all to ourselves? Could I build a treehouse?

Would you enjoy traveling the world? Would you like to drive across the country? Would you prefer historical sites to natural landmarks and wonders? Which places in our country do you most want to see or visit again? What parts of the world?

Do you think drugs should be legalized? If alcohol and cigarettes have killed millions of people and marijuana use has yet to kill one person, either directly or indirectly, then should pot be legalized? If there’s no way hemp (industrial use marijuana) can be smoked, and if it has a tremendous benefit to society, should IT be legalized? Should handguns be made illegal? Assault weapons? If someone from Canada and several European countries (which have banned handguns and assault weapons) said that since the gun control laws became much more strict, there has been MORE crime and more deaths by guns, would you still back gun control in the US?

Would you feel comfortable if you found yourself to be the only white/black/Asian person in a certain situation? Do you have any prejudices? Come on, any? What political party do you feel you are most in agreement with: democrat, republican, libertarian, independent? Should a woman ever be President? Is welfare good or bad for the people? What about equal opportunity act? Racial quotas?

Have you been to college? If you were to go back (or attend), what would you major in? If all occupations paid the same, $80,000 a year, what would you do? If you won $50 million, what would you do AFTER you’ve invested traveled bought toys provided for family and friends and children donated to charity? What is your initial impression of someone who is a construction-worker? An accountant? Lawyer? Writer? Engineer? Do you feel, even though many people equate level of income with success, that teachers are more successful than factory workers?

If you could do things differently during childhood, would you work harder? Play more? Take piano lessons? Join more clubs? Read more? Write more? Take sports more seriously? Would you talk to different people now that you can see who and what was REALLY important?

Are you close to your family? Do you visit them often? Keep in touch? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Are you closer to your mother or to your father? What are 5 or 6 childhood memories that first come to mind? The same question applied to high school? Are you or is your family traditional? Is Christmas a happy or sad occasion for you? What is your favorite holiday? Do you feel birthdays are important?

Could you be more demonstrably loving to your parents? Family members? Friends? Do you sometimes wish you were more... funny, smart, creative, popular, attractive, healthy, wealthy, free, organized, accomplished, easy-going, non-judgmental, loving, happy? Do you wish you had sexier feet?

Do you smile easily? Do you question things or wonder why things work? Would you consider yourself left-brained or right-brained (logical or creative)? If I could hook up a thought monitor to your head, would I see pictures, hear words or music, or would I sense feelings?

Were you mentally physically sexually abused as a child? Have you ever abused or thought of abusing someone else? Could you hurt someone intentionally? Could you kill a person if you knew no one could ever find out it was you? Do these last few questions make you uncomfortable?

Do you believe in God? What religion are you? If someone asked to talk with you about his or her religion would you listen with an open mind? And if their religion made more sense, would you actually convert? Do you believe in reincarnation? Do you feel organized religion has been beneficial to mankind? Do you believe in psychics? Do you believe the world is going to end? Do you believe in UFO’s and aliens? If someone you respect told you they could see angels or fairies, would you believe them? Is it possible that dolphins are a higher consciousness species than humans?

What are the first things that come to mind when you think of pyramids? Stonehenge? Crop circles? Ancient Mayan civilization? Easter Island? Bigfoot? Loch ness?

Do you find crazy people fascinating? Ever want to listen to the entire conversation of someone talking to themselves on the street? Were they born with this lunacy? Would you be interested in knowing what caused it?

Do you believe in abortion? Are you pro-choice? Pro-life? Do you disagree with abortions but still believe there should be a choice? Do you think there should be exceptions in case of rape or if the mother has a high chance of dying during childbirth? Can you answer these questions with a simple yes or no? Will this argument ever be resolved? (No)

If it was known to you that your child would be born with major physical and/or mental deformities such that s/he would never be able to function normally or acceptably in society, and would be in constant pain or mental turmoil, would you abort it if you could? If genetics developed so much that you could alter a child’s genes within in womb, would you alter it to be what you would consider more attractive, successful, smarter, etc.? Is homosexuality learned or is it something people are born with?

If you really saw a relationship developing, what are some personal things you would want that person to know about you? What are some things you would want to know about that person? (After all these questions, what’s left?) Do you think couples should live together before they get married? Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you believe there is an ideal person, a soul mate, just for you? Can a person have more than one soul mate throughout their entire life?

Do you really, thoroughly, enjoy sex? Do you REALLY derive pleasure from your partner being pleased? Could you be perfectly happy (romantically - married for example) with someone and not have sex? If you had a choice between actually having sex and wonderful, very involved, very memorable erotic dreams, which would you choose?

What are some things you are passionate about? Some things you absolutely love? Things that totally, entirely invigorate you?

Would you like to have an ability to send messages to anyone telepathically without them knowing who sent it? "Stay in that lane!" "You’re fly is open." "Smile." "YOU are beautiful." "Wear shorter dresses. You have nice legs." "Shoulders back, chin up, back straight." "Hug your child." What other messages can you think of?

Would you want an ability to read peoples’ minds? Would you be uncomfortable if I could read yours? Would you instead want only to know if someone was lying or hurt? Would you like to be able to see just slightly into the future?

Would you want to be able to heal, but in order to do so, you would briefly take in that person’s sickness and pain? If you were guaranteed the ability to heal sickness and even death (in very rare but deserved cases) but, for 5 years of your life, could not talk to or see anyone you know and had to go through extremely rigorous mental and physical training, would you? What about for 10 years? 20? (Some insist Jesus did this for 18 years – from ages 12 to 30 – those missing years in the Bible.)

What is your perception of God? Is peace possible? Can people, as a whole, love each other?

Will we eventually understand the mysteries of life? Where do we come from? How did life begin?

Do we live forever?

Will this never end?

Does any of this matter?

(Yes)


You could have some fun with this. Print it out and the next time you’re with someone or even a group of friends, suggest, "I have an article full of questions that’ll help you learn more about a person. Let’s agree to answer EVERY question in at least 3-5 paragraphs of your choice."

And for a more romantic series of questions, read "Love Letter to a Stranger" and "'Twas But a Kiss."

And for an answer to the biggest question of all, "What is the Meaning of Life?" read "Thanks for Nothing".






2002 Rob Daugherty

 

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