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DRAKE

BURTON ROBERTS

AGE
31
MARITAL STATUS
Single
OCCUPATION
Marketing Executive
HOMETOWN
San Francisco, CA

Biography

Burton Roberts was born in Houston, and raised in St. Louis. He is currently single and residing in San Francisco, where he works as a marketing executive for a start-up tech company in the video gaming industry. Previously, he worked as a marketing and business development consultant and an alliance manager.

With bachelor degrees in both business and philosophy from Southern Methodist University in Dallas, he is most proud of earning a Masters Degree in business administration from the Kellogg School of Management in Evanston, Illinois (one of the top business schools in the world).

His favorite hobbies include adventure racing, mountain biking and traveling, and he describes himself as adventurous, funny and a hard worker. He owns five Texas longhorns on his family's ranch outside of Austin, Texas. His heroes are his mom and dad who have worked so hard and have achieved success in life while being so dedicated to family.

He thinks he'll do well on SURVIVOR: PEARL ISLANDS because of his experiences as an Eagle Scout and an adventure racer. Additionally, he believes his strength, smarts and his ability to take care of himself will serve him well. His birth date is April 10, 1972.

Photo, Biography, and Favorites courtesy CBS

 

Favorites

Colors: Silver, blue
Scents: BBQ, fresh baked cookies
Flowers: Texas bluebonnet
Board Games: Jenga
Video Games: Hydro Thunder
Sports to Play: Football, adventure racing, triathlon, swimming
Sports Teams: Dallas Cowboys
Outdoor Activities: Mountain biking, hiking, scuba diving
TV Shows: Seinfeld, Jackass, The O'Reilly Factor
Movies: Gladiator, The Matrix, Terminator 2, Black Hawk Down
Actors: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Matt Damon, Vin Diesel, Russell Crowe
Actresses: Cameron Diaz, Julia Roberts, Famke Janssen, Ashley Judd
Music: Country, Rock, Techno
Magazines: Outside, Business 2.0, Maxim, Stuff
Books/Authors: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, Captains and the Kings
Cereals: Basic 4, Smart Start
Fruits: Mango, strawberries
Snack Foods: Corn nuts, chips & salsa
Cookies: Mrs. Fields chocolate chip
Candy Bars: Snickers
Alcoholic Drinks: Budweiser, Red Bull & vodka, Stripers
Non-Alcoholic: Coke, Dr Pepper, lemonade, iced tea

 


Photos courtesy Survivor Phoenix
and SurvivorFan.com

Let us discuss Burton Roberts

(My little disclaimer: As with all Survivor profiles, I am totally making all this stuff up as if I actually have a clue. I do not in any way know any of these survivors. However, I've received many emails from past Survivors complimenting me on my insight. So, although I make this crap up, sometimes I'm actually right.

Burton Roberts has an impressive resume. He is the odds-on favorite on the gambling sites and I can easily see why they would think so.

Of course, this is going to be his biggest problem. Just ask Hunter from Survivor Marquesas. For starters, this guy built a fort complete with plumbing, water purification, and electricity generated from some device he fashioned out of cricket wings and tree bark, I think. Hunter was also physically strong and contributed more than anyone else in his tribe towards food, shelter, and the challenges. But as soon as his team was able to vote him out, we saw Hunter waving goodbye to all the knuckleheads in his tribe.

I expect the same thing to happen to Burton and this is kind of sad. I LIKE competence. I LIKE survival skills. And I like people who like Ayn Rand.

Survivor just isn't suited for good-looking, strong, highly-athletic alpha males. All these qualities instantly make him a target. Burton's only hope is that he somehow learned "Survivor" skills (not survivAL skills) while obtaining his revered MBA from the Kellogg School of Management. (This could be a make-or-break deal for Kellogg: If Burton demonstrates exceptional people skills and is somehow able to overcome having a huge target plastered on his back, then the school might just be able to brag that they're teaching more than just textbook crap that doesn't apply to the real world.)

In his audition video, Burton essentially talked the bullet points of his resume. And he came across as a down-to-Earth, likeable guy. Something interesting happened, though, and it deserves mention.

During the first third of the video, we hear a little dialogue between whomever is running the camcorder and him. He is a bit uncomfortable tooting his own horn while someone is in the room listening. This person noticed this uncomfort and offered to leave. He didn't come right out and say "Yes," but his hesitation and inability to say "No" was a clear message. It would appear as though this guy, who's just brimming with confidence and ability, has a bit of a shy side.

What's interesting is that he chose not to edit this out (and I don't believe it was staged). Being a marketing guru, he surely knows that less is more and that all things that aren't entirely essential should be eliminated. So, why did he allow this totally irrelevant pitter-patter to remain on his video?

He left it in because he was smart enough to recognize that this brief exchange showed an entirely different side to Mr. Resume. It demonstrated that he has a bit of human relations savvy. It demonstrated that he is willing to show that he isn't Mr. Organized-Things-Must-All-Be-Planned-and-Perfect-and-Leading-Towards-Achieving-Some-Predetermined-Measurable-Goal; and thus, may just be able to sacrifice his alpha-male-ness and his sparkling reputation of winning everything in order to not stand out so much on his little Pearl Island.

Will he be able to pull it off? Will he be able to remove that huge target on his back?

Only time will tell. But, unlike the oddsmakers would suggest, I wouldn't bet on it.

 

Oh, but wait. I wanted to discuss a few other things from his profile...

His favorites demonstrate influence from both Texas and Missouri. One of his favorite scents is BBQ - a big Missouri thing (I'm from the St. Louis area, too, so I know what I'm talking about dammit). And his favorite flower is the Texas Bluebonnet and he likes the Dallas Cowboys. Most of the people living in San Francisco are transplants from other states, so it doesn't surprise me that there's nothing specific to San Francisco in his profile (that I am aware of).

He mentions MANY times his liking for adventure. Burton likes adventure everybody!

But he's not a big music fan, which is clear to me because he lists techno as a favorite music. He lists Maxim and Stuff magazines as favorites (to demonstrate that he isn't entirely Mr. Resume, as was also done by including Jackass). Maxim and Stuff are good if you read them just once or twice. But the magazines are like spending a weekend with that guy who can NEVER not joke around: in small amounts, he's great fun, but to be around him a lot is just freaking annoying.

Is it safe to say that Hydro Thunder is the video game his start-up tech company is now marketing? It would make sense, but after doing a quick internet search I don't think it is since according to the one and only video game site I pulled up said that it was the #8 Nintendo 64 game. "Hydro Thunder is a boat racing game featuring 13 courses with 13 cruisers for you to choose from. These races are against the law, so you will have to dodge the police and civilians alike throughout each event." I'm sure Ryan Shoulders will be able to tell us just how old this game is and how entirely lame the graphics are - things which a start-up tech would've already shelved.

Burton thought it was worth the time and space to mention that he owns five Texas Longhorns. After a person acquires several Texas Longhorns, just exactly what would they do with them other than feed them and say, "Hey, look at that. Those are Texas Longhorns?"

Burton is an Eagle Scout and he suggests that this will help him in the Survivor game. I totally agree. Have you ever looked at all the things an Eagle Scout must do in order to earn that badge? I found this page: www.meritbadge.com/bsa/adv/eagle.htm. \

Egads! There are many requirements with many more sub-requirement to each of these. Below is just parts 4 and 5 of the First Aid requirement alone:

4. Do the following:
Describe the signs of a broken bone. Show first-aid procedures for handling fractures, including open compound) fractures of the forearm, wrist, upper leg, and lower leg using improvised materials.

Describe the symptoms and possible complications and demonstrate proper procedures for treating suspected injuries to the back, neck, and head. Explain what measures can be taken to reduce the possibility of further complicating these injuries.

5. Describe the symptoms, proper first-aid procedures, and possible prevention measures for the following conditions:
Hypothermia
Convulsions
Frostbite
Bruises, strains, sprains
Burns
Abdominal pain
Broken, chipped, or loosened tooth
Knocked-out tooth
Muscle cramps

After looking over the Eagle Scout merit badge requirements, I must say that I am VERY impressed. If you ever meet someone who is an Eagle Scout, you can be assured that this person has prepared themselves quite well for life, in general, and began doing this at a very young age. There is a connotation that Boy Scouts are kind of a dorky, brainy, goody-two-shoes kind of thing, but you know... you should be nice to these people because chances are, they'll be your boss someday.

If Lillian makes it to the merge (she won't), she would be oh-so proud of Burton, who WILL make it to the merge unless his tribe consists of knuckleheads.

I have a little theory about beautiful people that's been proven true a number of times (the last time, I think, was on 20/20 or a similar show). People tend to respect beautiful people more than less attractive people, while also giving them promotions and better chances to succeed in life. Survivor, except for the last series giving Jenna the win, tends to level out the playing field as hunger, heat, and exhaustion often override beauty. So, we'll get to see just how much Burton has earned through pure talent and hard work -OR- has been handed to him because of his good looks.

But as I stated earlier, I like the guy. I just hope that he doesn't play the game so well that people see him as too much of a threat and boot his Eagle Scout hiney off the island.


 

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