Brother 5 Introduction: Hotties and More Hotties
This Might Be a Bad Thing
around, we have the most shocking twist ever... again. We
also have people who don't know they're related. We have
at least 3 halves of 3 sets of twins. And we have an odd number
of people going into the Big Brother house -- six guys and
we have the big mystery of why there are three blank spaces
BB5 main page (see my amazing proof at left). Woo Woo!
they bring in the mystery guests (that are probably related
or yet another set of twins or something REALLY controversial),
do you think the guys will do the male-bonding thing and eliminate
all the women first?
CBS also decided to bring into the house a bunch of hotties.
right, kids. CBS Big Brother executives have the pulse on
the nation. They realize that America could give a crap about
personality and substance as long as there are hotties in
the house. Last year, the house was filled with mostly attractive
but mindnumbingly dull individuals. And despite the fact
that the live feed watchers were deathly bored, the TV shows
got extremely high ratings.
my article summing up the entire Big
Brother 4 experience.)
cares if the people are young and/or self-obsessesed and/or
have no meaningful life experiences and/or couldn't have an
interesting conversation beyond the latest crap music who's
hot who's not simple-minded philosophical beginning self-help
wisdom. Who cares about this: all we care about is...
they a hottie? Do they look good in a swim suit? Do they
look good while they're exercising? We don't want to see
ugly people kissing and fondling each other, right? We don't
want to see ugly people at all, in fact, even if they're more
who was selected to be in house tells me something else...
The Big Brother producers, yet again, could give a crap about
the very devoted Internet followers. And this does not bode
well for the truly devoted. Here's why...
the live feeds will consist of possibly even more FOTH (Front
Of The House) shots should anything even remotely interesting
and/or controversial be happening. And again, despite dozens
of cameras and microphones recording their every move and
despite the four views to choose from on the live feeds, all
four will be on the same thing -- that one guy cleaning out
the filth between his toes even though others in the house
are either fighting, having sex, strategizing, or having a
real conversation that people might actually enjoy listening
now, there's a mass collective, "Oh my god, Rob is so
right" groan because everyone who's ever had the live
feeds has witnessed this far too often. The live feeds have
always been this way. Need proof? Read my detailed
article about when Sheryl Crow came and played live in
the back yard. Oh I was so happy that I had the live feeds
to watch this... BEFORE the event. Afterwards was a different
Biggest Twist EVER!
Their promotional video on the official site says to be
ready for The Biggest Twist EVER!
hope that the biggest twist ever really is something meaningful.
These usually end up being a big let-down. I've heard that
they may have a room people can go to that is away from the
cameras. If so, this is really only for one thing: sex.
They're hoping that more actual sex takes place, even if it's
else that's different is the Head of Household room will be
equipped with items that will allow him/her to watch (and
hear?) other parts of the house. So, we'll get to be double
voyeurs as we watch people on our screens watch people on
one room that is totally made out of concrete is supposed
to cause a lot of conflict. It won't. The people in the
house hardly sleep at normal hours and so what'll happen is
they'll be nice to each other and allow them naps in their
CBS producers had an ounce of a brain, they'd allow the viewers,
especially the internet viewers, to have some sort of say
as to what takes place in the house and who gets booted.
This way, the people would become so much more actively involved
in the show; it might actually become the huge phenomenon
that it is over in the UK.
not suggesting that the viewers get to decide who goes. That
was a huge mistake because, let's face it: the viewers suck
when it comes to making decisions that influence the entertainment
value of the show. I am merely suggesting that the viewers
be given one vote as though they are a houseguest. This way,
since there often seems to be a close vote with one person
being the swing vote, they would have to try and guess who
the viewers would choose and so, unless they had a very clear
numbers advantage, they'd still have no idea as to who goes.
maybe the viewers will get to nominate someone for eviction
or have the veto power or decide on challenges or something.
Anything beyond the silly viewer's choice crap.
happen? No way. Arnold Shapiro and friends could give a
crap about the viewers, especially those on the internet.
It's really strange that he/they have such little foresight.
"Two new houseguests are related but neither knows
the other exists." I wonder how they'll spring this
information on the houseguests...
the two houseguests who are related but don't know it yet
who happen to also be kissing on each other please step forward?"
wait a minute you two. Not so fast."
be really interesting... for a short while. Those watching
the feeds will (maybe, if allowed) get to hear lengthy conversations
about how the other has lived their lives and the families
they've grown up with. They'll marvel at all the similarities.
They'll really enjoy the discovery process.
is hoping that they form an impenetrable alliance since they've
bonded like none before. And this will create some sort of
conflict or advantage or disadvantage or something -- anything
so that CBS can say they had a genius part in how this whole
drama played out as opposed to letting the houseguests' natural
personalities create the drama and the conflict.
the problem with the two-houseguests-are-related scenario...
these two are two of thirteen, thirteen people out of tens
of thousands that they had to choose from. They might have
discovered the relation during the background check and the
little grunt behind the computer got to run into the executive's
conference room, "Look at what I found!"
chose two sub-par individuals to be in the house just because
of this shocking new revelation. They'll milk it up, have
their families and younger sisters interviewed -- who will
cry. They may even break the rules and allow outside communication
just for this special event. It'll be a ratings bonanza!
two people, which are most likely two of the guys, will be
boring or annoying or just plain old horrid to have to listen
to on the live feeds. Or maybe one will be gay and the conservative
uneducated duphus will try to make the argument that homosexuality
is a result of environment and not genes.
of all this crap, you know what I'd like to see? If you look
at the guest lineup on the official site, Julie Chen appears
to be the 14th houseguest. I'd like to see Julie
Chen spend some time in the house. I'd like to get to know
her better beyond her news anchor personality and her just-barely-becoming-personable
interviews. But of course, most people familiar with my crap
know that I've had a long-time crush on this woman, so I'm
a little biased in this regard.
The first person that stands out when I look at all the
houseguests (other than the fact that the women are all babes
and the guys are young and mostly good-looking, i.e. mindnumbingly
dull), is the big dork with the hat and the huge eyebrows
that seem like they're going to raise up a lot but when they
do they're going to REALLY raise up like in cartoons and will
sort of take on a life of their own. Whole discussion board
threads will be devoted to Michael's eyebrows. I'll discuss
Me The Money and Give Me Exposure
First, it was nice to read that pretty much everyone's
reason for being on Big Brother was the money. Finally we
have some honesty. Speaking of which, there has never been
more people that are blatantly out to self-promote their budding
modeling careers, their fitness model careers, their acting
careers, etc. This has always been the case but they just
better pretended to have other more down-to-earth motives.
Now it won't be a surprise to learn that most of them already
and More Twins?
reading a few sites (the main one being www.bagatelles.net/bigbrother/headlines.asp
-- definitely worth a look), I've learned that there are at
least three twins going in the house -- Diane, Adria, and
Drew. Will there be more? To me, three twins is a bit more
than just coincidence. I suspect something will come of this.
Will they bring another twin into the house? Is there another
twin that we don't know about? Will they pull a twin-switcheroo?
we have six women who are all far above-average beautiful
who also aspire to have careers in the limelight. And we
have seven guys:
of which are young and cocky studmuffins (which includes
an openly gay fellow named Winkle)
- a black
man who must have an amazing personality who's hopefully
not gay or lazy
edited-to-be super-conservative "George W. Bush or
Rush Limbaugh is my hero" blue collar painter
- a super-good-looking
good 'ole boy country music singer male model
- a total
dork with eyebrows that will come to life and scare all
like a group selected for the TV show and not for those watching
the live feeds. Even the most banal individuals can have
at least 10 seconds of something interesting that they can
edit into the show. For the most devoted... well, at least
we'll have plenty of eye candy.
be the BEST EVER?
it doesn't really matter. I'm always excited to meet new
people. Until I get to know this group, I must admit, despite
my mildly negative sarcastic tone, that I'm looking forward
to this new season.
on the voyeurism!
back soon for in-depth discussion of each of the houseguests.
I'll have links to interesting houseguest-related sites and
you for reading my crap!
and more links to Big Brother, visit SirLinksaLot.net
free to email your
comments and suggestions to my bad self -- firstname.lastname@example.org.