and more ribbons. Everywhere I drive I see ribbons; Breast
Cancer Awareness, Support Our Troops, Remember the 9/11 Victims,
do I pull up behind a car and not see some sort of appendage
suggesting that I remember something, support something, sympathize,
donate, pray, appreciate, protest, feed, don't eat, don't
kill, vote, don't vote...
I like what they
represent. I like that they are trying to help. I like that
they care. But Geez-Louise...
I am so tired of
the ribbon thing.
People have done
to the ribbons what radio stations do to good songs. Overkill.
Initially it was a good thing, but now it's just become annoying.
Almost every car has at least one ribbon, sometimes three
problem with this is because they are far too common, the
meaning and the original intent is forgotten. I no longer
sympathize and actually consider donating to the Male Breast
Cancer Fund (that's the Pastel Pink
ribbon). Instead, I try to remember (or somehow read the
small print) what the hell that Purple
Ribbon with a Red Rose (Cystic
Fibrosis) and the Navy Blue
and White Pinstripe (Lou Gehrig's Disease) ribbons are all
I no longer think,
"Hey, I should donate my time or some money to this cause."
Instead, I find myself critiquing the ribbon designs, wondering
why the hell Periwinkle
was chosen to represent eating disorders. (Note: Periwinkle
is also the Pulmonary Hypertension Awareness ribbon color.)
enough with the ribbons already. I've stopped noticing their
messages. There now has to be something else to capture my
attention and move me to act, something other than the concern
for, say, Testicular Cancer (Orchid/Violet
But enough moaning
and groaning. I was once told never to bring up a problem
unless I have a solution. Here's my solution:
One HUGE white
ribbon, about six- to eight-feet long with every organization's
phrase and logo listed. It can be attached to the top of
the car with those huge suction cup thingies diamond thieves
use to crawl up the sides of buildings in the movies.
This way, people
will know that you REALLY care about everyone and everything,
that you intend to remember everything, feed everyone, support
all causes, and be aware of all things.
I already see a problem with this. I suggested WHITE because
some graphic artists will tell you white is the combination
of all colors. But white is already used for several causes.
Someone would look over at your monstrous white ribbon and
think, "Wow, this person REALLY supports Victims Of Terrorism,
Peace, Right To Life, Innocence, Diabetes, Retinal Blastoma,
Alzheimers, or Gay-Teen Suicide Awareness."
And thus, after
exploring the net and finding as many ribbons and causes one
could find in a diligent 10-minute search, it's clear that,
in order to be unique, my ribbon must contain the following
a starburst or two, wood-grained texture, faux fur edges,
and a few of those jingle-bell doo-wackies high school girls
wear in their shoelaces during Christmas-time. And maybe
it could be tied into a bow.
however – and I apologize for my redundancy, but this is something
I feel very strongly about – is that this ribbon MUST be at
least six- to eight-feet large.
Show your support
and your concern and your awareness of all things and place
your monstrous ribbon on your car today! The world WILL be
a better place if you do.
Thank you for caring.
For your information,
here are the two sites that had the most comprehensive ribbon/color
And on a personal
note – I may kid around, but if you see a cause that is important
to you, donate some money, donate your time, do SOMETHING
other than nodding your head and talking about it. A lot
of people, a lot of things, really do need your help.