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Art Consultant
Danville, VA


Originally from Danville, Virginia, Jon Dalton attended George Washington High School followed by college at Virginia Polytechnic Institute in Blacksburg. After college, he moved to Washington, D.C. and Portland, Oregon before settling in Los Angeles.

He is currently single and most recently worked as a senior art consultant for the Tamara Bane Gallery. He previously worked as a production assistant for pro-wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper, and also worked in radio ad sales and phone sales.

His three favorite hobbies are girls, music and television. He describes himself as sharp, quick and amazing. He is most proud of being the first person in his family to go to college and leave his hometown. His favorite sport is college football. His hero is Hugh Hefner.

He believes he's a perfect candidate for SURVIVOR: PEARL ISLANDS because he claims he is "smarter than the average bear" with great organizational skills, leadership ability, has a strong work ethic and doesn't leave things unfinished. His birth date is March 11, 1974.

Photo, Biography, and Favorites courtesy CBS



Colors: Carolina blue
Scents: No favorite
Flowers: Plastic
Board Games: Trivial Pursuit
Video Games: Tony Hawk's Pro Skater
Sports to Play: Disc golf, tennis
Sports Teams: Virginia Tech Hokies, Atlanta Braves
Outdoor Activities: Barbecuing, tanning on the beach
TV Shows: Mr. Show, OZ, WWE RAW, WWE Smackdown!
Movies: Run Ronnie Run, The Godfather II, American Psycho, Hell Comes to Frogtown
Actors: David Cross, Ben Stiller, John Cusack
Actresses: Sarah Silverman, Kirsten Dunst
Music: Beastie Boys, The White Stripes, Biggie, Lifesavas
Magazines: Pro Wrestling Torch Newsletter, Maxim
Books/Authors: Mr. Show: What Happened?! by Naomi Odenkirk
Cereals: Cocoa Pebbles, Cookie Crisps
Fruits: Plum
Snack Foods: Pirate's Booty
Cookies: Girl Scout Tagalongs
Candy Bars: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Alcoholic Drinks: Pabst Blue Ribbon
Non-Alcoholic: Dr. Brown's Black Cherry Soda


Photos courtesy Survivor Phoenix

Let us discuss Jon Dalton

(My little disclaimer: As with all Survivor profiles, I am totally making all this stuff up as if I actually have a clue. I do not in any way know any of these survivors. However, I've received many emails from past Survivors complimenting me on my insight. So, although I make this crap up, sometimes I'm actually right.)

Jon is by far the most easily disliked person of the group. He's like a constant source of super-annoying statements and phrases.

I watched his Video Profile. It starts with, "I have several plans. #1 is... my philosophy is DTA - don't trust anybody."

People who use acronyms really annoy me. Please, people, unless you're working for a government defense contractor, do not use them. The only exceptions are those that have become a part of most everyone's vocabulary. (ASAP and TMI - too much information! are two such exceptions.) Otherwise, especially with those that are seemingly just made up, DO NOT USE ACRONYMS. It does not make you cool. It does not give people the impression that you are hip to the latest phrases. It is just annoying.

He and his moppy hair continue on about fattening up and becoming PADI certified (another acronym, which he explains because he's just too cool for us who don't know his acronyms -- "skin diver") and some other stupid crap. Then he says, with his smug I-am-so-cool-and-I-just-know-that-everyone-must-like-me-as-much-as-I-do expression:

"Oh I plan on being the first Survivor to have sex on the island."

To which he adds, "Hopefully with another person. Ha Ha Ha!"

He cracks himself up.

But he doesn't stop there. "I'm looking for a, how do the French say a menage a'trois? I'm looking for a menage a' quatre or menage a' cinq or I don't know, I don't speak French, I just kiss it."

I did NOT make that up.

His audition video begins, "What's up, player? J-o-o-o-n Dalton. Planning, I guess, just to win the whole Survivor thing" to which he soon adds... "and, uh... I guess there will be a couple of girlies running around, which is always nice. LOVE the girlies. Let's see, I have a few now" And he starts counting on his fingers, "One, two, three... four... a few. And uhh..."

That's his transition thing, "And uhh..." Each time he says something he thinks is funny, he'll say, "And uhh..." and then not continue because it's funny and it's a joke and he need not go on to elaborate further.

"And uhh..."

Or instead, he'll say, "But uhh..."

He mentions top secret files, pie charts, eye graphs... starts to show them, but puts them away like it was cute and funny. Of course he says, "But uhh... you shouldn't be seeing any of that." He grabs a cardboard puppet, but puts that away too with a laugh and an "And uhh..." because that would be just WAY too funny. But enough of that, he thinks, and gets back to talking about the girls...

"Actually... ha ha ha... forget about that, too." See me grin? I like myself so much! he thinks. "With a million dollars," he continues, "I could have all the girls in the world."

"Johnny Fairplay! Five-foot eight, one hundred and thirty five pounds of danglin' fury."

"Why is Jon Dalton going to win Survivor? Well, I went to Virginia Tech. And I guess, prior to Virginia Tech I was senior class president. Junior class president before that. And uhh... because I was smart, and uhh..."

See, he leaves off right there because we're to automatically assume that he won not because he's smart, like he said, but because he's so attractive and popular. Get it? He's such a wit!

"At Virginia Tech, I learned lots of things, too. I learned how to party. And I learned how to party. And, uhh... did I mention the girls?"

I AM NOT MAKING ANY OF THIS UP! These are exact excerpts.

Throughout the video, he had little costume change segments as he changed his various thoughts. The problem was that there was a light BEHIND him which basically caused his video to darken everything about him. So, he'd change into his outfits (which I've shown throughout this article), come back with a look, like, "Aren't I cool because now I'm wearing camaflouge," but we wouldn't be able to see what the hell he was wearing because there was no lighting.

Did he review the video and realize, "Hey, people aren't able to see my outfits. It's too dark. I'd better redo the video and put a light on me!"


And so, even if he hadn't said anything at all, I'd STILL be annoyed because the idiot sent in a stupid-ass tape that didn't allow me to see anything but a darkened shadow thing with signs of blonde, curly mop.

He also said in a different interview that he hated old people and will work hard to get them
voted out first..and create a utopia for the young people.

Need I go on?



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