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10/18/05 The Ten Commandments - What They SHOULD Be

12/27 Do You REALLY Want World Peace?

10/15 Support Ribbon Overload Awareness

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7/7 Part 1: The Bad Ways to Kiss
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4/19 Do You Truly
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The Celebration

What is likely the last of the trick-or-treaters just left my doorway. To my utter dismay, I find myself sitting in my recliner, my hands gripping the arms of the chair. I can't believe I could have forgotten.

No. My eyes close tightly. I never forgot. I've never stopped remembering. Knowing that the fear stems from my delusions doesn't help. I open my eyes wide, frightened of my memories, horrified to see again what happened a year ago tonight. The feeling is so vivid, so intense that I can't distinguish past from the present. Am I reliving it again? I don't know. I feel the hairs on the back of my neck tingle. I notice an unrecognizable odor that takes the oxygen from the air like cheap incense. My memories take over…

* * *

I had been sitting in this chair with my eyes closed, my thoughts moving idly from the history of the holiday to my own perceptions of the spirit world. Then I imagined -- I felt - no, I KNEW - that several things, entities, spirits - I have no idea what to call them - entered my apartment. They filed through the door - the closed, locked, dead-bolted door - without a sound, their presence suddenly so real that my fear and confusion caused me to blurt like a crazy person, "No more! Nothing else enters." To my surprise and relief they stopped coming. My eyes still closed, I struggled to breathe. I sensed something massive at my feet. I heard a voice, "Open your eyes."

No way, I thought. No way did I just hear that. It must have been my imagination. The sound filled the room, or was it my head, but it wasn't at all loud. "Open your eyes. You are not a child. Hiding beneath the covers will not make the monsters go away."

I was pressed back into my chair, the weight immense. They pried my eyes open. Instead of ghost-like figures or evil-faced ogres, I saw void - a lack of light. I fought to get away but was forced to watch the shadow come close - forced to listen to it laugh at my pitiful protests as I screamed.

"Why do you fight?" The voice shouted in my head, but was also calm, controlling, evil. "You asked us to be here."

I pleaded, "I didn't ask for this."

"Oh, sure you did." The larger one leapt onto my chest and I fought again to breathe. "You said, 'Please God, allow me the experience of the spirit world. Allow me the presence of angels.' That's what he said, wasn't it?" His voice sneered and the others giggled.

He lifted off me and I watched the couch fly across the room and stick high upon the opposite wall. Fighting to take my first real breath since their arrival, I found myself rising up, then floating upside-down towards him. Screaming, my arms flailing, I spun as though strapped to a wheel on the wall. I heard more demented laughter.

Totally under their control, my screams changed nothing. My fighting was useless. I begged for understanding, "But I asked for the presence of angels. YOU are not angels."

"He speaks of Earth-bound reality." They laughed again, like a pack of hyenas. "Your definitions mean nothing. What is an angel? Something that protects you from harm? Something with pretty white wings who speaks softly and answers prayers and LOVES you? Imbecile! Humans are jokes in the universe. You ask for things you know nothing about, then cry for help when they arrive." By this time I had stopped spinning and was being tossed around the room like a stuffed animal. My lip was bleeding, my jaw felt like I'd been punched, the wind was knocked out of me as if I'd been kicked in the stomach.

Finally I landed by the door as they turned their attention to shaking my upside-down refrigerator, emptying its contents. I heard, "These eggs are spoiled! He should thank us!" Drunk, evil laughter. I opened my door and started to run, but then was slammed back against a wall.

I shouted for help as my table was used as a Frisbee. "Go ahead and shout," the leader screams. "No one can hear you." A bubble floated toward me, popped, and I heard my own shouts. "I just LOVE your world," he said with glee. "If it can be imagined, it can be done. When will you moronic humans realize this?"

"Aww you look tired. Here, have a seat!" I was thrown against the wall above the couch. Bouncing off the wall, I hit the couch, and the couch and I both crashed to the floor.

The spirit continued ranting, "What's more ludicrous is that you will wake up and think this is all a dream. Even with the bruises, even with eggs on your kitchen floor, you will think you walked in your sleep; you fell off the bed. This is how humans justify this reality. Things you can't explain you attribute to fantasy, dreams, visions, aliens, bad drug trips… anything but admit that we are real."

The table landed on top of me. I screamed in pain as I heard, "Table for one?" More laughter. "This is our night because your whole idiotic culture wills it to be. This holiday, ALL HALLOW'S EVE, and its ridiculous customs stem from a Christian desire to demonize Samhain, the pagan celebration of the end of summer. Now, because so many people 'celebrate' this night, we are free. We are invited and on this night, we rule your world!"

My mind raced as he continued his mad historical treaty. I reasoned, hoped and prayed that since my thoughts brought them here, my thoughts could make them leave. I shouted, "In the name of Christ, Buddha, the Goddess, of all those who embody the spirit of love, I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE!"

Silence. Hesitation. But then I was pounced upon and ridiculed, "You think you can make us go away by spouting things you read in your god-damned books!" I ignored the pain and continued, "I bring in the White Light of Protection, I command the warriors of Light and Love to banish this negativity!" My struggles continued and I noticed that I was able to push them away for the first time.

With increased confidence, I shouted any exorcism-like thing I could think of - each time feeling stronger, sensing them becoming weaker. Eventually, with a flurry of kitchen table chairs thrown across the room, they disappeared.

In my relief, I thanked God. I thanked Goddess. I thanked anything and everything I could think of. I relished the silence as my bruises made themselves known. Then the fear of what happened hit me. I sank to the floor, my head at my knees, and cried.

Then I heard it. Crying. Someone else was crying. Then I heard others. I lifted my head. The crying continued louder and louder and then the evil laughter began, so loud my ears hurt, and I was picked up and held against the wall by my neck. They were here, mocking me with their fake cries. I choked, gasping for air, shocked and horrified as I realized what my failure meant.

"Imbecile! We leave only when it's TIME to leave. We will mock you and your Light until you fully KNOW the true nature of this world you inhabit - which you never will." I was thrown across the room to land back in the recliner in one last dramatic demonstration of their power. "Thank you for inviting us to your celebration! Same time next year?" Shrieks of wild amusement at their antics, "Sorry about the mess!" The laughter faded away as I cried in pain and terror.

* * *

My mind comes back to the present, my breathing shallow, hoarse. I can still smell that odor, feel that chill. The pressure on my chest is almost unbearable. My eyes open - had I closed them? The darkness screams at me, nothingness surrounds me. "But, but you only exist in my mind! How can you…?"

"Rules! Those who write the rules know nothing of the world." The immense being flips over my recliner with ease. As I fight to right myself, three other figures jump on top of me with a crushing mass of undefined shape. The more I struggle, the heavier the weight becomes, and the more they laugh and laugh and laugh….

© 2002 Rob Daugherty


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